Ain't much but it's a start
After a long stay in a facility teasing out real mental health symptoms from targeting induced, I'm feeling much better. My only real symptom is dream warfare/dream manipulation from my targeting. Curiously enough, the day I reminded myself that human being posses the technology to manipulate other's dreams (for nefarious purposes) I got 3 consecutive nights of intense dream warfare while inside the facility, so that lends to it not being restricted to my bed at home and done so remotely. One of them included being attacked in a shop with an angle grinder as I was thinking about the time I nicked myself with one at work. It's common to think of something during the day, then have an intense dream on that topic when you sleep.
There's other elements to these dreams, like "locked-in" syndrome, where it's similar to sleep paralysis, except you can look around from your sleeping position despite your eyes being closed and then have to fight to awaken. I get headaches, chest pain and even nose bleeds if the dreams are intense enough. You can be choked awake and feel pain in your body from where you were hurt in your dream.
I watched a short Youtube video called Cognitive Liberty: Dystopia that included other TI's shown on camera and speaking about their suffering. It made it easier to know other people are going through the same thing and am not entirely alone in this. I reckon that 10 or 20 years down the line, governments will acknowledge that they were carrying out this type of torture on people. But they need a sufficient amount of time to distance themselves from the current government in order to say "that was a different time, different government, we apologize for our past". I doubt anyone will admit to it at present, but it's starting to become public knowledge... that is, for people who aren't on the inside of it.
On a lighter note, I was able to purchase a tent, sleeping bag, spork, whetstone, and carabiners so that I may build a bushcamp and spend time in the woods. I lost all my beloved camping gear I'd amassed over the years when my truck was impounded and subsequently repo'd while I was held in a facility somewhere. Being on a fixed income, I have to re-acquire my equipment in $200-300 spurts each month, and be incredibly patient to do so and not blow my budget on other things.
I love being in the woods alone. I calm right down and feel at peace. Buddy was making fun of me for that in one of his songs "...I'm only safe when I'm alone..." My longest streak was about 21 days on a canoe trip; about 40km's deep in the backcountry. I was reading a book about Ted Kaczynski and how he would spend time alone in the mountains, in his various improvised shelters/cabin (not sure what to call them, Ted had pretty bad wood working skills). The author noted "most people couldn't be paid enough to spend a night alone in the woods". If this is true, then 21 days alone was quite the feat, but never thought much of it.
